Well well well, its me again guys, Mr precious . Almost blew it up this time around. Whipped me silly again, all because i was trying to play an April fool prank on her, well won't blame her.......entirely, neither would I blame myself. The long eared Easter bunny is to blame (that's if he ever existed or was in charge of everything April)
Turns out I did something, or rather, said something that made her believe I didn't trust her.*mocks* " what did I ever do to wrong, why don't you trust me.......etc" ( no offense buttercup ), and then she whipped out her biggest gun yet "may your insecurity not kill you o!" (Maybe she forgot to add IJN) and then I thought "here we go again, there goes my punishment for trying to prank her"
And so it got me thinking, is it ever out of place to raise your brow a tiny little bit when another guy shares a laugh with your PRECIOUS, hold hands..., maybe even hug? "Hell no" is what I think, I mean common, I'm a guy for Pete's sake, I'm bound to feel a pang of jealousy( OK maybe I overdo it a little sometimes). On further thinking, it dawned on me I was merely being an oaf (not literally oh abeg), I felt being a guy justified my being jealous but I never thought of it from the feminine perspective, how do the opposite sex view jealousy?
(For the purpose of this write up,guys will be the jealous partner while ladies, the not-jealous partner). Usually jealousy is a problem for the not-jealous partner which is most a times the lady when the behavior gets out of control.
The jealous individual usually the guy may engage in too much annoying
questioning, accusations, seeking excessive reassurance of love like always asking "do u love me,sure?" and may even go as far as stalking their partners. Now no matter how much reassurance is given, fidelity can never be proven, only disproved. So the guy's behavior continues and tends to escalate. However, most a times, the lady believes that it
just shows that her partner is deeply in love,well here's the bitter leaf of that sweet notion.......jealousy is not a sign of love, it is a sign of
insecurity. Love is not controlling. When we love
someone we allow them to grow independently of us because by doing so they are with us not by demand or because they don't have anywhere else to find love, but because they choose to.
Jealousy is a stone cold killer of relationships, trust me and it has to be resolved as quickly as possible when found in any relationship. But as i always stress, the individual has to admit it first, guy or lady.
According to Monica A. Frank, Ph.D, here are a two ways to deal with monsieur jealousy in any relationship;
1) Deal with your self-esteem issues first. Now dealing with self esteem may vary from individuals and so I'll advice seeking out materials online on how to deal with self esteem issues and also books.
2) Once you have developed your self-confidence,
you need to assertively communicate to your partner that his/her behavior is hurtful and you cannot tolerate this. This has helped me quite a lot in my own experiences and also brings to the spot light, the importance of communication in any relationship, it never hurts to voice out your feelings, coiling into a shell never helps. But how you communicate also matters, don't do it in a criticizing way or by way of an angry reaction.
For those readers who think they already blew up, its never too late, you can't mend a broken egg but u sure can fry the heck out of it. I'm sorry if the male readers think I'm taking sides, jealousy is no respecter of any gender.
PS: but u know what, a little extra crushing of that guy's hands during a handshake or even stepping on his new/clean shoes won't hurt, just a bit mind you. Oh.... and pls don't mind the bold fonts, couldn't start typing all over again, a guy's got to feel lazy abi?*winks*
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