50 Days With AZINMAGBA JOHN(Day 22)

RULE 22: IT'S OK TO BE EMOTIONAL

If we  are busy maintaining our dignity and being peaceful, its tempting to think that we are detached and so there is no place for big feeling and such like. Well, good news is

, it doesn't work that way. It's OK to feel emotions. It's OK to feel angry when someone really pisses you off. It's OK to feel huge sadness and grief when you lose a loved one. It's OK to feel tremendous joy. It's OK to be scared, anxious, relieved, excited, apprehensive and all the others.
We are human beings and we have emotions. This is all quite natural. It is quite natural to feel big things deeply and its OK to let it all show. We don't have to be ashamed of our feelings. It is OK to cry. Sitting on our feeling isn't a good idea. They just get squashed that way. Far better to let them out, deal with them and then get on with things.
If we go through trauma, upsetting experience and difficult times, it certainly doesn't help to be thinking all the time that we have to keep a lid on it or people will think us weak or out of control. I know it might look as if it contradicts keeping our dignity,but feeling emotion is not undignified unless we express it inappropriately or at the wrong time.
Some times even getting angry is totally appropriate as long as we remain in control and don't do anything we might regret later. Getting angry reminds people that we aren't a pushover and that they have hurt/offended/threatened us deeply and seriously and that their action  have caused us great pain. Of course we shouldn't get angry over silly things, instead we choose to show anger only  when it is needed, and needed seriously. Likewise its not good to get angry and take it out on innocent people , if you can't express the anger approximately, then you need to find a way of letting it out in a way that isn't going to hurt anyone else. But let it out you must. Bottled anger eats you away.
It's not just anger that shouldn't be permanently restrained. Neither should fear or anxiety or great joy or any of the other emotions. Just because we're feeling big emotions doesn't mean we are out of control. We can be quite emotional and still be in charge of what we are expressing. You wouldn't be human if you didn't feel stuffs and feel it big time. It is natural and you shouldn't even make any attempt to stifle it. Of course you can make sure it is let out at an appropriate time and place, but that is within your control. But then go again if you do respond badly, you can always feel guilty about it afterwards and that is OK too.

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