My precious

Weird title huh?,well for those riding with me,there are still weirder titles to come,much like Adamson,a writer whose style I admire.
      I kept glancing at my phone, waiting to see her reply, I almost regretted asking her that question....

"is there still love on your side?",a part of me thought it seemed desperate,another section  of my mind was screaming at me "you just gave her the window she's been waiting for,the chance to dump you",felt I deserved a kick in them balls. My Phone  beeped finally and I saw her response " nop".....then it occurred to me,Insecurity, I was just being plain insecure.
       You all know the saying, "you never know what you've got until you loose it"....well I damn right knew what I had and I still almost lost it. Now back to my title,MY PRECIOUS, I know what you'd be thinking by now,smigle or gollum,but far from Tolkien's most famous adventure series,this was real,as real as APC slapping shit out of PDP,yeah I know...that real*winks*. I call it MY PRECIOUS because I had a SHE in my life and in truth,I did love her and she was really my PRECIOUS my very own PRECIOUS but I almost ruined a perfect relationship all because I was insecure,yeah I admit,I was insecure.
             I had felt unworthy of love after my first adventure into the realm of love(let's just call it love for the purpose of this chit chat). A
common question that kept hitting the replay button in my head during
my early university year was: “Why would any girl be interested in me?” My sense of insecurity made me see
problems where they never existed,almost turning a perfect relationship into a dismal failure. Know the feeling? If not,good for you.
         A self-centered worldview had me chasing boogymen where they never existed. It was so bad that whenever she didn't feel like walking back home with me from school I'd immediately assume it is because of me when maybe she just as easily could have had a really bad day at school that drained her energy and so opted for an okada(bike). I couldn't  bring myself to stop psycho-analyzing every diction she opted for during conversations.
Obsessing with hidden meanings was a sure-fire way to miss the point. A point of note from Daniel Wallen: don't berate your partner
for being too quiet, or continuously asking, “What are or aren't you thinking?” during every lapse of conversation (I sure was guilty of that). An overwhelming urge to fill every second of silence with needless words was a bad habit of mine. I could go on and on and bore you with my awful lot of muchachoness(you won't find that in an oxford dictionary sweetheart)....or,I could just skip to the Jegamycin(latest drug by Nigerian youths) for this ailment in the form of insecurity. It took three days of not speaking to each other to dig the problem(my insecurity) out. Selfishness and inconsideration on one part and silent treatment on the other hand was the shovel used to dig the problem out.....I know,an awful way to sort out problems but one thing led to another and Bam!,the forensics revealed our problem was my insecurity. If you've read this far,then I must applaud you for you patience ma/sir and so I won't bore you with much details any longer. Gonna keep it precise and hit the head on the nail.... Oh my bad!, hit the nail on the head*lol*......
1) Do away with that "its all about me" mindset
2) Stop creating issues where there ain't any,don't psyche yourself out honey.
3) Stop seeing things in black and white, relationships aren't about facts,keep the facts for the courtroom.
4) stop being paranoid over nothing,being suspicious of everything ain't gonna do you no good,do not snoop over your partners texts or emails,it doesn't help, in short finding out things that way is sure going to give you plenty heart aches.
           And there you have it,I ain't no relationship expert and so I stand to be corrected,just a little reminiscing about my self to give you some clues, but of course,all these ain't going to work if you don't admit you're having that problem of insecurity as a guy,put off that huge Ego for awhile lads and in doing so you might just hold on to that YOUR PRECIOUS and not waiting to lose what you have before realizing what you had was PRECIOUS.

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